Canoe:1 Cranium:0

I feel that I can write this, now that my bruise, and the shame of it all, has finally gone. My last shift at the fire station, was pretty boring. Helped a poor lady that fell out of her wheel chair, hung with the boys, and we all turned in for the night. A fire call came out around midnight. Smoke visible, not sure where it was coming from. I was in the tiller that night, so we drove to the neighborhood it was reported in, and circled...and circled... and circled... for what seemed like forever. We finally found where we thought the smoke was coming from. Captain Cluff told me to get out, talk tothe homeowners, and ask for permission to enter their backyard to look for the fire. I jumped off the truck, and just had my t-shirt and fire pants on, not fully "turned out", or, not fully clothed in my gear.  I searched around, (Of course, all the junk in the world resides in this backyard) couldn't find it. Came around front, where the rest of the crew was fully turned out, and each doing their own assignments, setting up ladders, using the thermal imaging camera etc. I decided to go for my gear, which was still in the truck. Now, before I go ANY further, I'd like to point out, I'm 5'2" I usually miss a lot of stuff overhead. I walk in between a car and a pick up that are parked in front, when... CRACK!!! I looked up, at a long, ugly fiberglass canoe sticking out of the stupid truck. It was a blue color, the same color as the sky at 1am, therefore it was completely camoflauged. Now, what's the first thing I was asked by people? "Were you wearing a helmet?" To which, I hang my head in shame, that I was going to get the flippin' thing, when this happened. Whats even better, the crowd that gathered to see what was going on, sat and watched the whole thing happen. Not a smile, not a laugh, not an "are you ok?" nuthin... I grabbed my gear and put it on, ducking my head the whole time. What's best about this story?? The lady barking at us for the smoke aggravating her asthma. She then walks 10 feet, and what else? Lights a cigarette. She then asks the captain, "Isn't the fire smoke SO bad for my asthma?" His response: "Nothing more than that cigarette is doing...."